Random Stuff

Well I haven't really had much experience with blogging, except for reading other people's. I guess I just like to spy on others. My sister Monique keeps bugging me to start doing this, so here goes.

Currently Jason and I are in process of adopting our first child, as I cannot conceive. I have diabetes and PCOS, and am currently taking Metformin to help with both. I can see a dramatic difference, I've lost 4 pant sizes and 6 dress sizes in about 2 and 1/2 months. Jason, according to our fertility Dr., "Has donor quality sperm." I know that it sounds ridiculous, but I bawled my eyes out when he said that, because that meant that all of our conception problems were because of me. I know it's a selfish thing to think, but that's what went through my mind. I went through a stage of denial, and we took Clomid for a few cycles, but to no avail, I also had a Hystero Salpingogram (sp?) done, and it showed no blockages of my uterus or fallopian tubes. So here we are.

We are just starting all of the paperwork to become licensed foster parents, we're going to foster to adopt, meaning that only adoptable children will be placed in our home. Which I think will make it even harder if we don't click with a child, I don't know if I'll be able to look at a child until it is placed in another family, if we don't want it, and it's emotionally difficult to think that I wouldn't want any child in my home, but I must face facts that the children placed in our home will be emotionally disturbed, and I don't know if even after all of the parenting classes, Jason and I will be properly equipped to deal with the really hard cases.

Jason is very supportive and he was adopted, so it's something that is very close to our hearts. I just keep thinking that if his parents hadn't adopted him, I probably wouldn't have my husband today. Adoption wasn't really our last resort, we had discussed adopting even if we did conceive, we both want a large family. I can't put into words how wonderful it is for me and Jason, to some extent, to have Monique's beautiful baby girl, Estella, in our lives. Jason's never been around babies, so he's very nervous around her. I know that for me, Jason, Estella, and Mo are the lights in my life. I've always been able to count on Jason and Mo through thick and thin, and E-Dawg never fails to bring a goofy grin to my face.

I guess that's all the relevant news right now. Tune in later for more updates, same Bat-Site, same Bat-gibberish.